The challenge of living the artist's life plus looking for love in all the wrong places (100 words)

Looking for Love. Acrylic & pastel on masonite, 48 x 48 inches. © 2011 by Kathy Crabbe The Artist's Life

I could moan and groan and think and ponder ALL day long and do absolutely no painting because frankly it's all much easier than painting. "But painting is fun, it's child-like, it's playful," you say, and I say "NO" it's also gut wrenchingly challengingly because you are coming face-to-face with yourself and there is NO-WHERE to run, NO-WHERE to hide and no excuses, excuses are bullcrap and its not painting.

So next time someone says to you (if you are a painter, that is): "how fun, you paint" - look them in the eye and say: "It's not meant to be fun, it's most likely the most challenging thing I'll ever do and it ain't easy to put yourself on the line day in and day out without support or knowing if your work will be seen or appreciated by a single soul, much less make a living - it's a limbo-state and that's where artist's dwell. So please, FUN is not the word for it." Although if you offered me any other life in exchange for this one I would have to decline.

Making $ would be nice, but it certainly isn't any reason to be an artist and if you're in it for the money and fame that's your ego speaking and there no room for that in art, it just gets in the way of soul and it messes with your head BIG TIME  (and yes, having fun can mean expressing anger, in a healthy way).

My day in 100 words (plus 3* unmentionables)

Sometimes the only f*ing way to save my sanity is through painting because only the painting matters ~ all my f*ing doubts and fears and worries and stress and anger and resentment and hate and sadness and pain are released when I paint and yes, love too and passion and joy and wonder and hope. It all goes into the painting where it can safely reside rather than tear me apart inside. Why should you care? Because my paintings can f*ing knock your socks off especially if you're looking for love in all the wrong places. ha. Well look no further.