Invisible Pain

Warm and bleeding - you like it rough.

"I guess I don't care..." from 'Like You' by Kristin Hersh - Strange Angels.

Aching for you? I'm not breaking any rules. I'm not feeling cohesive anymore.

The Ancestors speak:
Turn misery into gold,
tears catch flight,
turn into butterflies,
pain becomes water,
washing me clean,

I bathe and laugh. I am whole and lucky, plus I like spiders (mostly).

I'm gonna erase your softness, turn you invisible.

"When are you thinking of disappearing?" From "Nothing but Heartache in Your Social Life" by Gordon Downie - Coke Machine Glow.

If you were here, I'd sit you at the base of my painting and drip Iridescent Stainless Steel (Coarse) paint over you. Invisible at night, with a dash of brown ink spatters until you and the paint-ing speak as one: "Make me whole" - untouchable, perfect, forever, until tonight.

Five days later I return to this painting not sure if I can continue. The pain is gone for now - only the painting remains.

It feels like a pupae or some kind of deep sea creature, pregnant, ready to burst, release joy into the world, not hurt. I will leave it for now, start fresh. The journey continues...

Invisible at Night - acrylic & pastel on silk - 4' x 5'

Musical Inspiration: Kristin Hersh - "Strange Angels", Gordon Downie - "Coke Machine Glow".